This is the story of Robert Duvall
Who was hated in life, til he died for us all
The children would laugh as he walked down the road
And they gave him the nickname of Bobby the Choad

Never a man was put on this Earth
Whose manhood bore such a frightening girth
It was short as an apple, but wide as a hat
And it forced both his legs wide apart when he sat

The Choad, the Choad, Bobby the Choad
The Choad, wide load, Bobby the Choad

Now sure there's a lid for every pot
No matter how wide your coin there's a slot
Duvall had a wife, a woman named Annie
Who was blessed from her youth with a bucket-like fanny

Now Robert found Annie as tight as a glove
And with butter and shoehorns, the two could make love
And they were the happiest couple around
Til the day she fell in her own fanny and drowned

Not a lock of her hair could he save from this plight
Though she grabbed for his hand and she put up a fight
But he ran out of strength, and she slipped out of view
And he had to let go, lest he fall in there too

The Choad, the Choad, Bobby the Choad.
Now the Choad walks alone, Bobby the Choad


Now grief-stricken Robert was walking alone
When the whole of the town heard a terrible groan
And the crack that soon followed, as water began
To gush from a hole in the wall of the dam

The water escaped with such horrible force
That when plugged from the outside, it popped out of course
And the wall heaved and groaned, and let everyone know
That they hadn't much time, or the whole thing would blow

'Evacuate now, and be swift' said the Mayor
While knowing full well that they hadn't a prayer
But a gasp from the back of the crowd soon arose
As Bobby stepped forward and took off his clothes

The Choad, the Choad, Bobby the Choad
Save our souls, Bobby the Choad

He climbed up the wall and looked back on the shame
On the faces of people that once called him names
He shouted "don't mourn me, I'm finally free
My Sweet bucket fanny Annie's waiting for me

With that, he jumped into the water and swam
Paddling crotch-first to the hole in the dam
He directed his choad to its life-saving task
And it stuck like a cork in the side of a cask

And the town it was saved, and to this very day
You can see the same spot where Duvall's body lays
And fresh is the rose that pokes out of the eye
Of the choad in the wall that still keeps us all dry

The choad, the Choad, Bobby the Choad
Rest in peace, Bobby the Choad